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The Blacktongue Thief

by Christopher Buehlman

Kinch talks like a man trying to stay one joke ahead of the truth.

The Blacktongue Thief book cover
A spoiler-conscious review: premise and character discussion, with major reveals left unspoken.

Kinch is the kind of character I knew pretty quickly I was either going to love or get completely sick of.

Luckily, I loved him.

He’s vulgar, sarcastic, selfish when it suits him, and capable of making a joke at probably the worst possible time. But the more I read, the more I realized the humor isn’t just there because Buehlman wanted a funny narrator. It’s part of how Kinch handles pretty much everything.

If something scares him, make a joke.

If somebody might kill him, talk shit.

If the world is falling apart, there’s probably still time to say something inappropriate about it.

That worked for me because underneath all of it, Kinch clearly cares more than he wants anybody to know.

Galva is a great character to put beside him because she doesn’t play his game. She’s serious, capable, and carrying her own reasons for being on the road. Kinch can joke his way around a lot of things, but Galva has a way of making some situations feel serious no matter how hard he tries to talk around them.

I liked their relationship because they don’t immediately become best friends or suddenly trust each other. They’re two very different people who end up traveling together, and you slowly start seeing the respect build underneath all the irritation.

The world itself was another big reason this book stood out to me.

It feels like you’re arriving after something terrible has already happened. The goblin wars have changed everything. There are fewer men, whole parts of society have had to change because of it, and you constantly get the sense that people are still living with the damage.

I liked that Buehlman doesn’t stop the story every five minutes to give you a history lesson about it. You pick up pieces from the way people talk, who has certain jobs, what they’re afraid of, and what everybody treats as normal.

The magic is weird too, which I mean as a compliment.

There are tattoos, strange creatures, witches, magic that doesn’t always come with a convenient explanation, and enough bizarre shit happening that the world never feels like somebody just copied a standard fantasy setting and changed the names.

I also liked the whole idea of Kinch being buried in debt to the Takers Guild. Even being a thief has basically become an institution with training, rules, debt, and people above you making sure they get their cut. It gives Kinch another reason to be looking for a way out while pretending he’s perfectly happy with how his life is going.

The story wanders sometimes, but I didn’t really mind because Kinch is entertaining enough that I enjoyed being inside his head even when the book took a strange detour.

That’s probably the biggest deciding factor with this one.

If Kinch annoys you, you’re going to have a rough time because the guy never shuts up.

But if his humor works for you, the combination of him, Galva, the strange magic, and this beat-up world makes the book feel different from a lot of fantasy I’ve read.

And underneath all the sarcasm, there’s more heart to Kinch than he would probably ever admit.

Who I’d recommend it to: Fantasy readers who like darker worlds, vulgar humor, unusual magic, and main characters who are definitely not trying to convince you they’re heroes.

Caution: Kinch’s humor and language are everywhere. If his voice doesn’t work for you early on, it probably isn’t going to suddenly disappear.

Discussion question: Did you like Kinch immediately, or did it take you a while to get used to his mouth?

— Cory Lane

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